Finding Strength


“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it.” -Charles R. Swindoll

This phrase has a lot of truth to it. When you encounter times of hardship, it can be easy to get lost in a sea of negative thoughts. Why is this happening to me? Why didn’t God help me? When really these hardships are but a moment of time and often, when viewed with the correct perspective, can be motivators and strengtheners in life.

Learning to change your cognition is one of the greatest skills of life. How you choose to view each situation will determine the outcome. Your feelings are not a result of an event, your feelings are the result of your thoughts about the event. It is important that you take the time to process and think about your experiences. Learning to see the value and the knowledge gained from your life will help you not just cope but thrive.

For example, during one of the hardest times of my life, my family relationships were really struggling. I was going through some really tough events at a young age that seemed like the end of my world. I didn’t feel love or connection to those around me and I was an angry and rebellious child. My parents were away from home for some time due to medical needs and military duties. My relationship with my brother was suffering and I didn’t feel like God knew who I was. It was easy to put on a front of uncaring and contentment, but on the inside was the exact opposite- it felt like I was falling apart. For this month of trial, I couldn’t see the point to life and the swirling thoughts of depression (I didn’t understand what depression was at the time) were dragging me into a deep hole. It took me years to come to terms with this experience. It took a lot of self-evaluation and changing my cognition about the situation to help me see the value in going through this hardship. This was one of the most defining events of my life because it taught me some of the greatest lessons- endurance, determination, compassion, understanding, etc. It helped build my character and because of this situation I have been able to empathize with others who are experiencing related hardships.
My character and spirit were shaped by the results of this trial in my life. I know my limits, but I also know my strengths. It built my faith that with God all things are possible. My relationship with God grew and has continued growing ever since and I can honestly say that in my times of need, I can feel Him there helping me. There are experiences and blessings as a result of this trial that I would never want to change.

One of my favorite analogies is that of the young tree. When a young sapling is planted, landscapers will often use stakes and string to help the young tree remain in place. When the supports are placed too high, the tree is able to grow taller, but it doesn’t grow the strength in the trunk necessary to withstand the harsh winds when it is older. When the support is placed towards the bottom of the trunk, keeping the roots in place but allowing the trunk to bend in the wind and build strength, the tree grows into a mighty pillar. Although as a young sapling, it was bent in the wind, ultimately the result of this back and forth movement allowed it to build up resistance and grow into a larger, stronger trunk able to withstand storms.

Just like this analogy, when we experience trials, in the moment it can feel like we are bending more than we are able to handle. However, when the storm passes and the sun shines, the strength and knowledge that result from the whirling hardships of life have strengthened our foundation and shaped who we become.



I love this poem by Mary Stevenson:


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