Gender And The Family

What impact does gender have on the family? What do our roles have to do with who we are and how we function as a unit? I think it’s interesting to compare traditional values with today’s societal beliefs. Right off the bat, I want to clarify that these are my beliefs. If you do not agree, that is okay and you have every right to do so. Everyone has different life experiences, so your views may vary.

 I believe that the best marriages are those between a husband and wife that are committed to each other. They are also committed to their children and helping them develop into mature males and females. I think the roles of the members of the family are greatly influenced by gender. Fathers and Sons; Mothers and Daughters are “mini-me” relationships. The examples and influences of parents to their children is imperative to helping them maintain emotional and physical intelligence. Having a role model to look up to- mothers who are nurturing and guiding; fathers who preside and protect the family- is important for children to develop into healthy adults. Emotionally as well as physically, these role models give the basis for who children become. Growing up is hard with trying to balance an education, social life, work, etc. There are many stressors in our daily lives. But throwing gender/identity into the mix creates anxiety that is sometimes unnecessary. It can be hard and confusing to determine who you want to become, but this grows impossible when you change who you already are.

Let me tell you a story. My mom is one of my biggest supporters and role models. There are many things that I admire about her. We connected on an emotional level that my dad and I didn’t. This made understanding one another easier, but also intensified the disagreements because they cut deeper. As women, we are emotional thinkers. My mom understood how everything I was doing, from sports to what I wanted to wear to school, was interconnected. When I had a problem or needed support, she was the one I would turn to because she would listen and validate my feelings. My dad on the other hand is a very compartmentalized thinker (like most men). When I went to him and explained how my day went, he would sometimes listen, but often he was focused on something or somewhere else and I could tell his attempts were half-hearted. This doesn’t mean he didn’t care, but we got along in other ways. Without my mom’s emotional support and understanding of the female mind, it would have been very frustrating to try and connect with my dad as he wouldn’t understand how all aspects of my life connected. This is a small example, but my point is my mom taught me very valuable lessons that my dad could not have simply based on gender. My mom was there on an emotional and nurturing level while my dad made sure I had everything I needed and was protected in any way he could find.

I believe gender is not as complicated as society makes it. Your feelings are important, but your physical anatomy matches that of your spirit. Your divinely designed gender is important for who Heavenly Father wants you to become. The family is structured based on heavenly principles. We have a Heavenly Father and Mother who we were made in the image of. If you take a look in the scriptures and read about the Godhead, the resemblance to the family structure is preparing us for transition from this life to the next. Do not become confused by the whirlwinds but seek truth and follow the teachings of the Gospel. It may seem confusing now, but you will be happier and find peace in living according to the teachings of the Scriptures. There is power and light within those pages. Gender is not a choice, but a part of who we are as spiritual and physical sons and daughters of God.